Lighten up already

First off, my vacation was magical.

I had a blast; I feel completely reset, and I'm ready to stand up to everything the world has in store for me this year. I've also made a mental note to go someplace warm (with good company) in February every year for the foreseeable future. It's not an overstatement to say that I'm in the best place emotionally I've been in many years, and a large part of that is due to that trip.

While I was watching the sun come up on the beach (I know, right?) before getting ready to come home, I took a moment to take stock of my emotional state and to really feel the relaxation and all the sun and fun I had experienced in the days leading up to that serene moment. I thought also of the last post I wrote (about my nagging anxiety problems) and it came to me that the solution to my problem seems to actually be quite simple.

I just need to stop taking every little thing so seriously.

Easier said than done, but I decided to put this idea into action since returning, and you know what? That voice is getting quieter.

Not only that, but I feel like I have more capacity to remember the important things and to succeed every day now that I'm not holding on so tightly to every little detail. I'm letting go and allowing the little things to fall through the cracks sometimes and - most importantly - not berating myself when I make a tiny mistake. Forgot to set up my coffee-making stuff for this morning before I went to bed last night? Oh well, guess I'll be 30 seconds late getting in the car to go to work. Failed to actually hit "send" on that email to my mother-in-law thanking her for the thoughtful scarf she knitted for me? The twelve hours in between haven't made me any less grateful and probably haven't caused the sentiment to sound any less sincere to her.

My girlfriends who helped me celebrate my (Gasp! 30th) birthday this weekend asked me over dinner if I had any grand plans or goals for the decade ahead. I hadn't really thought about it before that moment, but I decided that - having lived the last decade pleasing others - I intend to live the next one pleasing myself. I realized that so much of being hard on myself has been feeling like I'm letting other people down, when in reality all I need to do is lighten up and just keep trying to be a tiny bit better tomorrow than I was today. And if I fail, that's okay too.

Perfection is unattainable, and it's been said a million times, but I'm having a moment of understanding with that sentiment right now in my life.

Things haven't gone according to plan - obviously. But that's okay, because when I step back and look at the life I have right now - even though I just had to spend all the money I had saved on fixing my car, even though sometimes parts of my job are frustrating, even though the cold weather here in New England makes me a "grumpopotamus" (shout out to my girl Kim who made up this term, it's the best for shaking me out of a cranky mood), life is so, so good right now. All I need to do is choose to laugh instead of getting annoyed, choose to love myself even when I make mistakes, and choose to give more love to everyone around me, because the best way to feel love in this life is to give it freely and often to the people you care about most.

I really feel like taking this break to go pamper myself in the sun and to nurture my own well-being for a few days has expanded my capacity for love. I imagine this sounds super "woo-woo" and obnoxiously optimistic, but I feel a shift in how I am in the world right now and I can't wait to see all the ways I can practice this "zen" attitude in the months ahead.

If you're feeling overwhelmed, buried under the cold weather, just not thrilled about the day, join me in this experiment. Stop taking life so seriously and laugh more. We have every reason to believe our lives are fleeting, so let's make the most of what we've been given and just laugh at the ridiculousness that we're even here right now. Since today happens to be Valentine's Day, let's all take a moment to show someone we love them today. It doesn't have to be romantic, it doesn't have to be significant, it certainly doesn't have to be the candy hearts and diamonds that get pushed on all of us every year. Just take a moment to appreciate someone you love: a kind word, a small gesture, a bad joke, even a post-it note saying "you're doing great". Give more love, and laugh at the annoying parts of life and lighten up already.

What's your favorite way to remind yourself not to take things seriously? How do you show kindness to the people around you? Let me know!