The Mindfulness Post

Contrary to popular belief, mindfulness has nothing to do with sitting cross-legged on some remote mountaintop in Tibet chanting "Ommmmmm" over and over again while mysteriously gaining mythical enlightenment.

Mindfulness is a buzzword-y new term for a very simple concept that people have been using to guide their lives for eons. Simply stated: the key to happiness is living in the present moment.

We've all heard this before, we know that allowing our past and future to influence and overcome what we're experiencing right now leads to nebulous feelings of anxiety and depression. Living in the present moment is so much easier said than done, especially in the social media explosion of the last ten years. We're constantly bombarded with updates from our friends' (and complete strangers') lives and it triggers the brain's natural reaction to analyze this input and compare the information we receive to how we're living. It can fill us with feelings of unworthiness, of jealousy, of quiet (or not-so-quiet) panic that we're not living our lives correctly because we don't get as many "likes" as someone else.

It turns out (or so I've found) that mindfulness is not so tricky after all. It really is as simple as reminding yourself to breathe.

I'm not a doctor, I'm not a professional wellness councilor, I have zero qualifications to be giving anyone advice about how to live their lives in a healthy way. All I have are my own experiences and personal anecdotes and an "N=1" mentality to offer to anyone seeking answers. That said, I do believe that mindfulness, meditation, and daily gratitude practices are what has made the difference between handling the most stressful time of my life with grace and having a nervous breakdown.

Mindfulness is not a constant state of being. You have not failed to live mindfully when you find yourself stressing out about that big meeting you have next week, or when you feel ashamed for what you said to your partner during an argument last month, or when you wonder if maybe things would have turned out differently if you had taken that piece of advice your mother gave you four years ago, or when you're mentally running through your to-do list for the day for the hundredth time. You have succeeded in living mindfully when you come back to the present moment after your mind has strayed. It's about re-focusing on what you're doing now while using the wisdom you've gained from your past and the incentive that looking toward the future provide to add to this moment instead of distracting you from it.

It is actually this easy: every time you have one of those nebulous, uneasy, unfocused feelings, just remind yourself to take one deep breath. That's it. Take one deep breath and experience the next moment as it is without judgement. It's okay to get wrapped up in other thoughts sometimes (or all the damn time) as long as you trust that you will return to this moment, right now, and treat yourself with compassion.

I cannot overstate how much this practice has improved the quality of my life. I never thought I felt "bad"; I never had diagnosed anxiety or depression, I thought everyone just felt tired all the time. I thought that it was part of getting older and that I could only expect for my life to slowly become a little more tedious and a little more set in stone and a little less bright every day.

Embracing mindfulness has brought a new light to my everyday life. It turns out that I love to cook, and not only that, but I love to cook healthy and satisfying meals for myself. It turns out I love eating. I knew that, but I learned I love to savor my food. I love to feel the texture in each bite, to appreciate the flavor combinations in each spoonful, to eat most meals with chopsticks because it forces me to slow down and become purposeful about shoveling food into my mouth. I love to be in the kitchen with all the smells and sounds of cooking around me and listening to my favorite music while babbling nonsense to the cat every time she meows, begging for a bite of chicken. It's one of my happy-making activities and now I can more consistently experience it in the moment.

I'm not perfect, sometimes I surf Facebook while I'm toasting a tortilla for tacos and I burn one because I'm too involved in my phone to pay attention to the stove (and by "sometimes" I might actually mean every single Tuesday for the last month...).

I've learned to identify the simple things that make me happy. A genius blog writer once wrote a post I read on taking note of the moments in which we're happy. By writing down the specifics of what made me happy in each moment, I can "bank" my happiness for later as a reminder that life is beautiful or I can use it as a helpful list of things to do when I'm in a funk. The one similarity among every single one of those moments was that I was fully present at the time I realized I felt happy. Being mindful is what was at the core of each simple, feel-good bit of it.

So I encourage anyone reading this to take a deep breath and read the next sentence with their full attention:

Your life is already beautiful and you are stronger and more powerful than you can imagine.

Living your life with more mindfulness will help you see how much strength you express just by being here right now. You haven't given up yet and that's a beautiful thing worth celebrating. Be compassionate with yourself, and the next time you feel overwhelmed, just remember:

Breathe.